Okay, lawyers are supposed to be smart, logical people, right? So how does this conversation make sense?
Lawyer: I need the documents that the employee shows up on, from the 2 pay periods prior to their termination, and the document from their termination pay period, and the document from the first pay period they do not show up on.
me: Okay, so I'm giving you no more than 4 documents, right?
Lawyer: Why 4?
Me: [Counting on fingers] 2 pay periods previous, One pay period previous, pay period of, and the first that they do not show up on
Lawyer: Oh, yes. Okay. 4.
Me: [having looked at some of the documents] What if they don't show up on the pay period of termination?
Lawyer: What do you mean?
Me: I mean, what do you want if the person in question terminated on, say, Tuesday of the week that the document references, but they do not show up on the document? Do you want another document after that document?
Lawyer: Oh, that can't happen. Every piece of testimony we have from them says that doesn't happen.
Me: I can give you an example, if you like.
Lawyer: Okay.
[Time passes]
Me: Here is an example packet. It contains [Documents that I am sure they want], as well as the document showing the pay period 2 cycles before they termed, The pay period immediately prior to termination, and the document showing the pay period when they termed.
Lawyer: [Sees that the third document is 14 pages long, where the first two are single page] Why is this so long?
Me: Because I can't print the page they are on, because they aren't on there.
Lawyer: [discusses with another lawyer, who confirms that this can not be the case, testimony says so] Well, this must be a rare case. Go ahead and get this info for all of the 50 people you have.
Me: Okay.
[time passes]
Me: I had to pare the 50 people down to 33, because I lacked documents for the other people.
Lawyer: Why are these final packets so big?
Me: [trying hard not to get mad] Because they are the pay period that the employee doesn't show up on. Usually the pay period of termination.
Lawyer: what is "Usually"?
Me: [think for a moment] Not more than 5 of them are from after. So, no less than 28 of the 33.
Lawyer: Okay. give these to [Third lawyer].
Me: Alright.
[To Third Lawyer's Office!]
Me: [First Lawyer] told me to give these to you.
Third: Why is this packet so large?
Me: [explains again about they-aren't-there]
Third: Okay. Why do I need this?
Me: Ask [First].
[I retreat. Time passes. A whole day, in fact.]
Third: I was looking over this packet [refers to packet of "Not in this pay period report"] and this person isn't on here. Why not?
me: [Explain. Again.]
What I didn't say: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!! How can you not know? Seriously? YOU ASKED FOR THAT! I TOLD YOU! GO BUG SOMEONE ELSE!
< /rant >
Showing posts with label bureaucracy. Show all posts
Showing posts with label bureaucracy. Show all posts
Friday, February 6, 2009
Tuesday, July 10, 2007
Cigarettes, Licensing and expiration dates
I don't smoke. And yet, my day yesterday was absolutely RUINED by a pack of cigarettes.
So, Sunday night, I was heading out to get bookshelves from my parents' house. Bill asked me to pick up a pack of cigarettes for him, as well as a soda. I got the bookshelves, and on the way out, stopped at Jimbo's Deli Mart to get the soda and cigarettes. Jimbo's is one of the few remaining places that I can walk into and still get carded, and so, when I was asked for my ID, I wasn't surprised. What surprised me was when the clerk said, "Do you have any ID that's still valid?"
"What? That one's valid until... [I read the expiration date] 8-12-2006. That's ... wait. 2006?"
What had happenned was, when I got my address changed, 4 months before my ID expired, it didn't get renewed. It expired on my birthday last year, just after I moved.
This wouldn't have been much of an issue, had I taken care of it right away. However, I didn't know about it until 7/8/07. I was going to have to pay a late fee, and NOT be pulled over, because whatever I got pulled over for would be nothing compared to driving on an expired license.
So, monday, I took my lunch break and headed to the DOL to get my license renewed. Heh. Monday ... Yeah. The DOL near my work isn't open on mondays for licensing, just vehicle licensing purposes. I didn't learn this, however, until I had stood in line for, oh, 15 minutes. I was handed a sheet of directions to the DOL "Express" license renewal location, about 6 miles away.
I call in to work, saying that I'm taking longer than expected, and will be back soon.
15 minutes of driving, and I finally find the place, in what must be one of the five ugliest buildings in Vancouver. I go in, take a number, and realize that there are signs ALL OVER saying "No Debit, No Credit" and "Cash and Check Only" and one that says "We do not accept personal checks". Being from a far advanced, cashless society known as "not vancouver governmental systems", I don't carry paper money, only plastic. Fortunately, there was a bank across the parking lot, and it was a branch of the bank I have an account at. Being about 12 numbers from being called, i run across the street to the ATM, and *sigh* read the sign on it, which says, "Sorry, this ATM is (again) Out Of Service." Runing across another street, I head into the bank itself, and withdraw money. $35 to be exact. I head back, and get there with 2 numbers to spare. Cake. Wonderful.
My number gets called, I head up to the counter, and am told I can't renew my license. It seems to have been suspended.
Yes, Suspended. I apparently failed to pay, in full, a speeding ticket I got last year. So I had to go to the Clark County Courthouse. At this point, I called my work and let them know what was going on. My boss, Karen, basically forbade me from coming back until I had fixed it. I told her I would probably be out all day.
So, to the courthouse. I stop by a different branch of my bank, and get money totalling $102 - and give them my 35 from the other bank. 2 of these dollars are in quarters, for parking.
It has, by this point, been about 2 hours since I left on my 1 hour lunch break. I get lost in Downtown, but finally manage to find the Clark County Courthouse. I get in line to go in, through the metal detector.
The line moves. One person goes through. The alarm goes off. They get wanded.
The line moves. One person goes through. The alarm goes off. They get wanded.
The line moves. One person goes through. The alarm doesn't go off.
The line moves. One person goes through. The alarm goes off. They get wanded.
The line moves. One person goes through. The alarm goes off. They get wanded.
The line moves. I go through. The alarm doesn't go off.
The line moves. One person goes through. The alarm goes off. They get wanded.
The line moves. One person goes through. The alarm goes off. They get wanded.
That added about 15 minutes to my day. Once in, I have to head to the basement, which was WAY warmer than it should have been. In the collections room, there are three lines: Customer service (2 people in line), payment to the court (no line) and Payment to collections (line wraps around the room). Guess which I had to be in!
So, about an hour later, the line I'm in has shruinken to be just me. I pay, get my recipt, and get in line for customer service.
There are three lines: payment to the court (no line), payment to collections (2 people) and Customer service (line wraps around the room). eventually, I get to the front of the line, and taking care of my problem takes all of 3 seconds. I leave.
I hop in my car (parking meter not yet expired!) and go up the street to the DOL Express. I go in, grab a number (49) and leave to get more money (my total was going to be $100, and I spent 43.67 on paying my ticket. Half of that was a fee from the court for not paying on time. Yes, my license was suspended over 25 dollars.) I come back from the bank (the same one that has an ATM in the parking lot which is still "(again) Out of Order".
I make it back to the DOL, and look at the number just called -- 50. So I grab another number, and wait, and take care of everything I need to (my right eye is worse than my left), and get my picture taken for my license.
They hand me a paper license, I head out, and look at the time.
4:30. I call work, tell them I'm on my way, and talk to Gabe, saying that I'm on my way.
I get to work at 4:55, and meet with my boss for 45 minutes. then I go home, and colapse.
The moral of this story?
Do random good deeds. they rarely go unpunished, but the punishment is usually helpful.
If I hadn't been willing to grab cigarrettes, and had been pulled over, i would have been arrested, had to get my car out of impound and myself out of jail, and would not have had a license.
--
Aaron, Exhausted.
So, Sunday night, I was heading out to get bookshelves from my parents' house. Bill asked me to pick up a pack of cigarettes for him, as well as a soda. I got the bookshelves, and on the way out, stopped at Jimbo's Deli Mart to get the soda and cigarettes. Jimbo's is one of the few remaining places that I can walk into and still get carded, and so, when I was asked for my ID, I wasn't surprised. What surprised me was when the clerk said, "Do you have any ID that's still valid?"
"What? That one's valid until... [I read the expiration date] 8-12-2006. That's ... wait. 2006?"
What had happenned was, when I got my address changed, 4 months before my ID expired, it didn't get renewed. It expired on my birthday last year, just after I moved.
This wouldn't have been much of an issue, had I taken care of it right away. However, I didn't know about it until 7/8/07. I was going to have to pay a late fee, and NOT be pulled over, because whatever I got pulled over for would be nothing compared to driving on an expired license.
So, monday, I took my lunch break and headed to the DOL to get my license renewed. Heh. Monday ... Yeah. The DOL near my work isn't open on mondays for licensing, just vehicle licensing purposes. I didn't learn this, however, until I had stood in line for, oh, 15 minutes. I was handed a sheet of directions to the DOL "Express" license renewal location, about 6 miles away.
I call in to work, saying that I'm taking longer than expected, and will be back soon.
15 minutes of driving, and I finally find the place, in what must be one of the five ugliest buildings in Vancouver. I go in, take a number, and realize that there are signs ALL OVER saying "No Debit, No Credit" and "Cash and Check Only" and one that says "We do not accept personal checks". Being from a far advanced, cashless society known as "not vancouver governmental systems", I don't carry paper money, only plastic. Fortunately, there was a bank across the parking lot, and it was a branch of the bank I have an account at. Being about 12 numbers from being called, i run across the street to the ATM, and *sigh* read the sign on it, which says, "Sorry, this ATM is (again) Out Of Service." Runing across another street, I head into the bank itself, and withdraw money. $35 to be exact. I head back, and get there with 2 numbers to spare. Cake. Wonderful.
My number gets called, I head up to the counter, and am told I can't renew my license. It seems to have been suspended.
Yes, Suspended. I apparently failed to pay, in full, a speeding ticket I got last year. So I had to go to the Clark County Courthouse. At this point, I called my work and let them know what was going on. My boss, Karen, basically forbade me from coming back until I had fixed it. I told her I would probably be out all day.
So, to the courthouse. I stop by a different branch of my bank, and get money totalling $102 - and give them my 35 from the other bank. 2 of these dollars are in quarters, for parking.
It has, by this point, been about 2 hours since I left on my 1 hour lunch break. I get lost in Downtown, but finally manage to find the Clark County Courthouse. I get in line to go in, through the metal detector.
The line moves. One person goes through. The alarm goes off. They get wanded.
The line moves. One person goes through. The alarm goes off. They get wanded.
The line moves. One person goes through. The alarm doesn't go off.
The line moves. One person goes through. The alarm goes off. They get wanded.
The line moves. One person goes through. The alarm goes off. They get wanded.
The line moves. I go through. The alarm doesn't go off.
The line moves. One person goes through. The alarm goes off. They get wanded.
The line moves. One person goes through. The alarm goes off. They get wanded.
That added about 15 minutes to my day. Once in, I have to head to the basement, which was WAY warmer than it should have been. In the collections room, there are three lines: Customer service (2 people in line), payment to the court (no line) and Payment to collections (line wraps around the room). Guess which I had to be in!
So, about an hour later, the line I'm in has shruinken to be just me. I pay, get my recipt, and get in line for customer service.
There are three lines: payment to the court (no line), payment to collections (2 people) and Customer service (line wraps around the room). eventually, I get to the front of the line, and taking care of my problem takes all of 3 seconds. I leave.
I hop in my car (parking meter not yet expired!) and go up the street to the DOL Express. I go in, grab a number (49) and leave to get more money (my total was going to be $100, and I spent 43.67 on paying my ticket. Half of that was a fee from the court for not paying on time. Yes, my license was suspended over 25 dollars.) I come back from the bank (the same one that has an ATM in the parking lot which is still "(again) Out of Order".
I make it back to the DOL, and look at the number just called -- 50. So I grab another number, and wait, and take care of everything I need to (my right eye is worse than my left), and get my picture taken for my license.
They hand me a paper license, I head out, and look at the time.
4:30. I call work, tell them I'm on my way, and talk to Gabe, saying that I'm on my way.
I get to work at 4:55, and meet with my boss for 45 minutes. then I go home, and colapse.
The moral of this story?
Do random good deeds. they rarely go unpunished, but the punishment is usually helpful.
If I hadn't been willing to grab cigarrettes, and had been pulled over, i would have been arrested, had to get my car out of impound and myself out of jail, and would not have had a license.
--
Aaron, Exhausted.
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